February 2012
48 posts
10 tags
7 tags
5 tags
8 tags
6 tags
6 tags
5 tags
Overheard in my dream last night
Friend: Did you see the price on that jacket? If you stole it, it'd be a felony!
Me: they shouldn't make felony jackets... That's not fair
6 tags
10 tags
Which of those two songs do you like better?
Song 1: Kanye West, Nas, & KRS-One - “Better Than I’ve Ever Been”
Song 2: Kanye West, Nas, KRS-One, & Rakim - “Classic (Better Than I’ve Ever Been) (DJ Premier Remix)”
8 tags
Kanye West, Nas, KRS-One, & Rakim -...
7 tags
Kanye West, Nas, & KRS-One - “Better...
4 tags
2 tags
Were the state of North Dakota to secede from the Union, they would become the third largest nuclear power in the world. (source)
My day tomorrow
Autopsy
Fingerprinting
Lunch
Tissue Lab
History and Focused Physical on a real sick person
Dinner
Sleep
5 tags
5 tags
2 tags
I just spared the life of a spider...
Now I have the feeling that the spider is walking over me at all times.
I should have killed that guy…
9 tags
“We’re gonna study to one song and one song only…”
– “Nerds in Paris” from Watch the Desk
4 tags
barackfuckingobama asked: I'm the owner of Voldemortoutbitches, I just wanna say that my friend who is taking care of the blog for me at this time is the one who answered your message. He wasn't being mean, just trying to channel Voldemort and be evil. Also to your anon, I do not like the use of the word "retard" and the person who created voldemortoutbiches is AMERICAN. Feel free to post this publicly.
4 tags
Anonymous asked: You're such a retard American, why can none of you spell Lucius correctly?
7 tags
“Good nachos”
– My response every night my roommate tells me good night in a foreign language
8 tags
1 tag
Been in this room for an 50 minutes. No one else had come in or out. There is a door to a bathroom in the back of the room. Suddenly, I hear a flush and the sink run. Then a little old woman walks out, looks at me, smiles, and exits.
3 tags
Fuck Chris Brown and Fuck the Grammys
5 tags
Why is everyone mourning Whitney?
I for one thought it was a horrible tv show that never should have been made…
4 tags
3 tags
7 tags
1 tag
It took me 10 tries to get my straw in my my drink lid today … if you know what I mean
4 tags
8 tags
4 tags
6 tags
“Hit you with the funk it’s like, “who cut the provolone?”
– Gift of Gab, “Paragraph President” by Blackalicious
This line is an absolute beast for so many reasons. Love Gift of Gab’s flow and lyrics.
2 tags
Two nights ago I said something and my roommate’s female friend told me that I reminded them of Ellen DeGeneres.
It was one of the best compliments of my life…
The bra is the ultimate booby trap
1 tag
Brandy got screwed for Puppy Bowl MVP. At least she was mentioned in the voting, unlike some other puppies I know (cough) Gracie (cough).
1 tag
jungcocoabutter replied to your post: jungcocoabutter replied to your photo: Brandy for…
Brandy is going up against a top notch defense. Hunter is having quite a year. Brandy is going to get jammed at the line. I’m telling you Gracie is going to steal this game, and our hearts.
Yeah right. You can’t stop Brandy … you can’t even hope to contain her. There is a reason she...
1 tag
jungcocoabutter replied to your photo: Brandy for Puppy Bowl VIII MVP! She’s the best!
Brandy is so overrated. The consistent play of Gracie is overlooked here and that will be a mistake today.
Brandy is a big play maker and will be the difference today. The highlights and the MVP will belong to Brandy
2 tags
If I ever dressed in drag...
everybodybutus:
My drag name would be “Wonder Woman” because I’d make you wonder if I was really a woman…
…100% sober stupidity
1 tag
Just ordered delivery of a large pizza and field greens salad with grilled chicken. The guy on the phone said it would get to “you guys” in forty five minutes. He thinks I’m sharing the food … how cute
Favorite line to my unrecorded, unfinished, never...
everybodybutus:
My girl’s favorite dance is the sprinkler
But she only does it when I’m under her
3 tags
“This 300 pound biker dude was just giving it to me hard. He was like ‘I’m gonna...”
– My friend describing her favorite tattoo experience. She didn’t cry and in fact really enjoyed the whole thing.
This is not describing a scene in a horrible Lifetime movie about a woman overcoming being raped. Though it does sound like that.
(via everybodybutus)
everybodybutus:
The blind boogieman in your closet hates marshmallows so if he asks what your favorite Easter candy is you better not say a Peep
2 tags
I hope the closed captioner for Today with Kathy Lee & Hoda gets to be drunk as well. #waitingroomhell
everybodybutus:
Vampires rarely get humans pregnant because they have to ask if they can come inside